CHEATING MYTH: “IF IT AIN’T SEX, IT AIN’T CHEATING” or if you prefer CHEATING MYTH: “WHEN IT COMES TO CHEATING, SIZE MATTERS”

Do you have any idea how little work it really takes to connect with a married person who has already allowed their eye to stray? As we explored in the previous chapter, co-cheaters don’t need to do much to “convince” the other person to have an affair. Quite honestly, the cheater will often do the work of pursuing someone else. It’s stunning, really. Sad, but stunning.

What we didn’t explore was the reason why it’s so easy for them to put thought to action, and I think the reason is sneakier than you might suspect. See, married people are already more relaxed around the opposite sex than they were when single. They’ve generally let down their fear of getting hit on and/or rejected, because they’re taken – and they have the ring to prove it. The ring on that finger makes them safe, or at least they thought it did, earlier in their marriage. Now, that sense of safety can breed a relaxation. The same ease that they’ve acquired over years of marriage becomes a potential cheating death trap, because it removes a normally formidable wall to befriending people who might be a love interest. Combine that with the innate belief that they are no longer as “desirable” to others as an unmarried would be and you’ve kicked the door wide open for an affair.